Your Hatred is your Love

• Posted by: Angie Daniels
• Created: October 23, 2015
• 0

Your hatred, as evident, as you place it on paper and to anyone lending an ear, is solid evidence of your love my dear. My inability to read between blurred lines and questionable actions set off spite in my intoxicated mind. I placed you in the dark where my demons lurk as I made insanity my home that night.

Confusion is the one emotion that makes no space for bliss. I lived there while my heart was on fire. My eyes could not see through the mist. I questioned every hint and every kiss. Subtle words were not enough anymore. I needed honesty in its purest form.

This love was not the sweet sound of a flute but rather loud screams and drums of passion and chaos. The kind of that leaves you breathless and numb. The way you touched my body holds no comparison to how you touched my soul. Creeping into my heart and taking me whole.

I suspect that every cell in me sings your name. How do I work, think and feel when the thought of you blurs faces and drives me insane? My heart’s claim to fame. The faces of your indiscretion. I let it go like exhaling smoke in the wind. It’s proof of my complete infatuation while you inhaled dark doom.

I can’t take back what I have done. Neither can you. Broken and tainted beings are a ticking bomb. One I cradled with feelings and then some. How to explain or apologise when your mind is not present, on auto and in fractions.

As I sleep tonight knowing that you are sipping your poison, dancing with your bruised ego and welcoming all that is unwelcome with a smile. I will be wishing I could hold you tight. I despise vulnerable feelings of desperation but there’s nothing I can do but hope and wait for a change in perception while you bathe in anger and hate. Despise me if you like but even as things start looking like slow evaporation, you will live in every space, sentence and word I ever write.

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