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Withdrawn Below and Above, Inevitability.

Inevitability is impossible. The impossible is inevitable. How can something visually logical make so little sense? The inevitable possibility that is impossible is the one truth we all seek. "Inevitably, no matter what happens between me and her in the future, she’ll always be my first real one.. Not to mention the wonderfully lucky learning experiences that opportunity gave me." And that's the positive side I already spoke of. ...R-right?... I didn’t know jack about them. About the relationships. I didn’t know jack about loving someone that way. Now, I know what it feels like to be love-sick. To be encircled in what can make you lose yourself. Or have I always known? To be jealous. To be protective. To be anxious. To be happy. To be relaxed. Are these feelings even real? To love to the best of my ability. To know someone will always care about you. What's... the point? To explore a heart so deeply. And my own to be. To know how to be myself. Is there such thing as "myself"? To be obsessed. To be socially captivated and lose sight of logic. Everyone just speaks with every bit of experience they know. Doesn't that make everyone logical? To strongly and weakly think about the future. But then to assume it’s potential is entirely consistent. Do I have a future? Should I even attempt to sit down and consider it if it causes such addicting but yet wanderlust satisfaction? To judge, but to accept. To accept that which will always be judged. Words can hurt you, everything can. It is entirely a matter of how much you can put up with. Right? To make sacrifices good or bad. To see what I personally (whether reasonable or not) care most about. What's the point of a sacrifice if sacrificing is meant to risk something? To think about her, us, and others. To care. To question if this is right, or wrong. Why even consider the possibility of drama, when drama can happen in oneself. To hope for the best. To barely understand, and to understand with or without meaning. Is hope real? Is the general amount of realistic temptation real comparing hope? To cry. To cry with her. To be mad. To be mad at yourself. To feel guilt that which is heavier than you thought the possibility of, had left you long ago. ... To lose someone so important to you. To miss someone so important to you. To mischievously ponder if there was more you should have done. ... What more can you say when something about life or death comes up? The demons want to hear about that, not you, not me, not anyone. To make a seemingly or literally mentally life-changing mistake. To know your thoughts are compatible with existence. To make sense. To question reality. To own a destroyed reality in a organized but lost world. To know another human being living with the existential dread of existence itself. To forgive. To be, feel or know everything’s going to be okay. And that circles back to hope.. what more is there? To give up, but then no later find hope. Find light. A light that is always burning. It may flicker, it may create a few sparks. But when hope is restored by the genuinely warm and comforting light, choices have meaning once more. In the end of the improper mess that which is required for proper things to exist, you’ll learn to love her, others, and yourself again. All by one, interesting, heavy thought-provoking, central base of reason, person. A partner. You live to love and laugh, not to regret and hate. ... r-right?...

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