I am not made to deal with emotions,
There are no levels to my pain.
They overwhelm and drag me beneath the
Surface and I fear I won't rise again.
When i allow myself to feel love,
The emotion encompasses my heart.
And while I have fallen head over heels,
My partner is still stuck at the start.
I second guess every feeling of joy,
And wonder if it is some form of trickery.
That the fates have tried to get by my walls,
So that they may mercilessly beat me.
I fear confiding in someone to lighten my load, afraid they would scoff.
So I do what I do when feeling is too much
I simply turn it all off.