Me Recreated

• Posted by: Kat Wilkes
• Created: October 4, 2016
• 0

I'm chugging a bottle of vodka like its lemonade on a hot day.
Each gulp making me so numb that I almost forget to breathe.
I never liked the way it burns rushing down my throat,
But I'd rather feel that than the memory of your lips on mine.
I'm chain smoking cigarettes as if I'm trying to inhale the air you breath.
Each drag making it feel like I'm drowning, gasping for the air you stole from me.
I never liked the taste of cigarettes on my breath,
But it seems now to be the only taste I'm familiar with.
I'm praying to a god I've never believe in, begging for the goodbye I never got.
Each word coming out of my mouth like a hurricane, fast and destructive.
I never really like the idea of goodbyes,
But then you walked away without a single word.
I'm crying myself to sleep just like when you were here.
Each tear rolling down my cheeks so swiftly, like I've mastered the art.
I never liked the sound of my cries before,
But now they sound so relaxing.
I understand now.
I understand why you drank so much.
I understand why you could never commit to not smoking.
I understand why you always fell asleep to the sound of my cries.
Cuz I'm now the same way.
But I'll never understand why you never said goodbye.
Maybe you're scared of them too.

Related entries

Because Angels Are In White…

The poem is on Doctors who were heroes to us in the time of Covid-19