Here to Heaven

Born simply To a backwoods tribe A gift from many honours From many Gods A messenger of Balders spirit my itch Asunder is my mind Through twelve year old eyes - amazed I watched - daily Slab by slab Pillar by pillar The bridging of our canyon Our people My family Soiled Saddened Watched the world approach Our laws The law! Our way of life Its will Slowly conquered My sisters’ son Astonished, excited Watched the path of my future Magically appear Before my eyes Fear Oh fear Became my people’s god And by revelation Command! To remove any rebellious thoughts We were mated Became Gerda's - my Grandfathers youngest - first lover Her large breasts Disguised her youth My frightened, unknowing frenzy Stole her innocence Then came the world And it's hot breath It's ways Our war lost Our people fled into the mountains While I Of two children And fourteen years Under a high moon Set off Crossed the bridge To see To know The God whom calls me To revisit memory in my future To find forever in a minute Three days walk Scant provisions gone Hunger joined my walk Became my companion A day later, I entered a great city Bewildered I wandered, unnoticed Like a ghost Slowly My thoughts became hazed Confused Great noises took my senses I coward Hid within my soul Mad! Madness overtook Led me Down a dark path I shivered Staggered over rodents Smelt feces And the rotting of feeling Voices surrounded me Harsh, loud - laughing Without felicitation Struck! Struck by heartless lust I collapsed Unable to escape evils want Pain Full and endless Within my soul Found me hidden Hand of claws Reached out Tore away a chunk of my flesh Gouged from my chest Then swiftly, dug deep into my guts Probed upward for my heart My hand went up, palm forward I called out Then sudden silence Painlessness I floated amongst stars Faintly hearing the attack continued On my helpless body Morning’s light sought me out Found me naked Beaten, ravaged Hidden amongst refuse An ant, created its own path into my eye Stung I rejected its advances Crushed the ant between two fingers Foolish nymph I rose purposely to my knees Blood Mixed with excrement Trickled Down the inside of my thigh I fell back to the concrete Overcome by burning pains Cried Time, threw a blanket over me Rescued By strangers - spirits? I, febrile Lost days to recovery In my sleep, I became solemn witness Accessory Gerda! Left with sons Abandoned to your Grandfathers keeping Do not cry As you do, I feel the high mountain cold Why do you stray to cliffs edge? No! Gerda! Hear me Love be not lost Wasted I did not reject thee Visions hath taken me Let memory not betray love Let memory not sleep now When last we knew each other Did you not love the Pharaoh? Did his voice not light great fires in your belly? And were you not his favourite? Even during times of Dionysia? Scented by oils of petals Shared, yet knowing By a mere glance Gerda Why do you not hear me? Our sons Adieu Too flight In the heavens Or in life on earth We shall meet again Trance broken Released from fetters I awoke In a room striped of dignity Dying Then Before me, appeared my saviour Wrinkled skin, hardened, and proud to sight I closed my eyes Maintained my secrecy Day bowed to night Movement ceased I gathered clothing Slipped out into the hour Running to escape the city Asphalt - pasture - forest Night - day - night In the forest Deep in the forest Calmed by sleep Animal, nocturnal, welcomed Quiet noise Then peace be broken A rumble? Voices? laughter? Is there no where? Not invaded - trampled? Resist I could not Advance I did Perched down Hidden Up to cabins window "Tyle!" Laughter Two men Dark Two ladies White "Drink some of this" "What is it, Tyle?" "Perry an Whiskey" Overcome they found their jig Then Paired in silence Alone Two, lay on cot I, crouched below window Tight to wall Brown skin? So different? Ten! ten! They are We are The same Voices broke my foolishness I rose to see Held was I Do they obey the law? Excited - afraid Naked they were Her voice begged uncertainty to end She sought clarity of senses He climbed onto her small bosom Dementia took all three of us Her limbs - parted His force began Desperate Struggle Then, full His muscled brown haunches rose Plunged with the power of a God Her sounds reached to heaven He continued on His pace swift His movements strong and sure Her nails drew blood from his shoulder blades He rose up to knees His large arms reached down Surrounded her limbs Pulled them up Continued his pace My sight became unaware A past time, lost, appeared A great man A boatman Of enormous size and strength Leader on the oar Powering a boat up the Nile Sight returned Her hands gripping tightly Bars of the bed, overhead His movements gained strength Her neck arched Eyes closed Her voice echoed off the mountains Still without hesitation he continued Every muscle flexing Defined At its proper time Her scream Mouth open As if unable to draw breath Then him Movements quickening Ruthless Her head moved side to side Uncontrolled Her sounds Sweet Louder and louder Movement ceased All his muscles flexed at once Suddenly! Where had they come from? When did they come? Men in white Angry Behind my sight Ghosts of substance From him? Anger swept me up A still mist enhanced The night Bound at wrists Lifted to chair Above the confusion I watched the spectacle Ghosts with animal skin feet? Different of step Some heavy - thud Some light - unheard Tyle, we share same branch His proud eyes Wild Moist was his forehead Tyle Don't fear Thick oak Certainly strong enough To break our fall Was I speaking? In silence Tyle your beloved Tied around tree Bare Sweet bottom And the other too Large buttocks Crack! crack! With a quick light touch Thin breaks appeared in skin Reddened lines - deep Some brought blood I am deaf! Too tight is my collar Crack! crack! No, I hear Not the voices The switch To each it continued By the law? Do they know the law? Law made by mortals Selfish Their pain be wrong The law is not truth Truth so gentle I await the painless words "No!" I began floating Yet, air not flowing I shall sleep Despite the fall chill A.D. Arym woke first Ra stung his eyes Dust rose with him He, the former patrician Given to the sword Most unlikely to revolt A hard, firm wind blew through Then went Waking the rest of us Redmask gained senses quickly Scarred on chest and cheek Guilty of past patricide He made breakfast Tyle Victim of murther Ate quietly Strange is this place Yet, I know I am too be here Strange are those about me Yet, I fear them not I know them? I know not how? Strange We share a quest A path of idea's Of different Gods Time and origins Yet, together we shall discover mystery Rid of ground stiffness Our bellies full We set off Down the path of Via Dolorosa Each with his own shadow The sand beneath our feet Melted like snow To water A great body of water Parched We knelt down Our hands dipped We cupped and cradled the gift Then drank and bathed Satisfied We resumed our journey Walking, across the desert of water Then nightfall And the sand returned Many days walk Forgotten Browned We began our ascent To a shear mountain face Hand over hand Stones sharp Yet, although cut often Deep No blood dripped Hands no longer touched stone Taken to the clouds Set down in a lush valley Greeted, as if old friends Hundreds at leisure Perfect of flesh A woman Young, slender, full and beautiful Smiling, touched my shoulder "Do not fear, I am Shamarra" "Where am I?" Foolish meek words "Er or Delphi?" "How am I to know your heart?" "I am not a priest!" She laughed "Let silence lead you" My eyes strayed The gift of a pleasant vision Great edifice of stone and gold Humble structures built circular Built on the banks of the great river Masons and smiths proud works Years of leisure Odd? Off At base of small hill A lectern of simple stone Stands alone? No temple? No reason? It sits like driftwood Washed up on a shore Without intent Days passed without want Awe turned to thought Arym sought meaning in ancient scripts Redmask danced for his gods Tyle spoke of speakeasy Found love with a golden warrior - Tammara She, tall, muscular - powerful Mute, but to the look Shamarra - alive Became my friend "Look! Behold the Sumerian Simple, beautiful man I long for his company The luxury of his love The pain of his power Am I evil?" Too want? Wantonly? It is my right as a princess virgin Too be taken Not by a feeble man Who would leave me smirched But, by a great man With a lions mercy And passion Let my cries be heard throughout the kingdom His member It is great and proud A giant on its own I know Secretly I watched him bath Up river Oh what have I said Do not betray my confession Promise! promise me!" I nodded and smiled She laughed "Come - lay back Let me soothe your yearnings By my mother's teachings Gifted woman" From a flask Wise in content She dripped scented oil Onto a finger Touched to my lips Tattered cloth pulled away She poured oil abundantly On my belly With hands gentle and firm Began too entrance me Chest to thighs I felt tingle Her lips soft and warm To my sensitive head Bewildered Lost in pleasures realm Beautiful garden So full of silent groans I released quests labour "Awaken sleeping fool They have come The festival shall be tonight!" Then I saw him Timid man Touching the flock around him A calm, pained smile Then the woman Plainly beautiful Equal in all fullness "He is just a man?" "Her a woman?" I asked "No!" He began sharply "Listen too my words She is Arym And Tyle And you And none of you She is all of you He is Tammara And Mary And I And none of us He is all of us" I drifted away Came to rest against a far off tree After a time He approached Sat quietly "I beg your questions?" With a beggar’s sureness, I began "Tell me, why is a bird a bird?" "What do you wish it to be?" What was his answer? "Why not a horse?" "I cannot speak Sinhala, prophet!" "Nor do your thoughts fly" What gibberish had he said? "Imagine a stone thrown by innocent arm Picture its path Killing a butterfly In passing Then falls to the ground Without knowledge of a crime Does the stone feel? Or the arm? The man?" "Stones cannot feel? The man must" "What shall he feel?" "I do not know?" "Then you do not know your heart Both sorrow and pleasure A man must burden As he enjoys pleasure Equal This is truth This is love" Then he was silent Then he gone Touched My schooled heart Not formal, but informal Free too love Justice is not my law It is my own heart I am no one's hand Nor subject too Slap the air Or yourself if you must The festival goes on Within the great hall Passion shared Without plague In a room As I passed Shamarra and Sumerian She smiled my way as he mounted Her cry shook stone Continued as I sought out Redmasks honoured dagger I took pace Toward the sacred stone My way clear Then he was there I stopped Our eyes touched He smiled I continued on Knelt Cut deep across wrists Dripped blood over stone Took dagger, high, between hands Hesitated not I offer the lamb Too end ignorance Too awaken spirit That it may return to mortal I see your one Why do you send false gods? My heart - false notion Has led me across Canyon bridged In jean overalls Barefoot I kick up dust Off the road On the other side
Here to Heaven

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