Gratitude and Caution

  • Posted by: Oli
  • Created: March 22, 2020
  • 0
I am grateful Of course I am How could I forget air rushing out of every sun kissed pore as I swore through ecstatic tears - I'll cry every day for this Hindsight is a useless gift and I didn't see that the sun's kisses were indeed only skin deep and I had a long road ahead A road in which I pulled my mother by her hand She ran with me of course As hard as she could As fast as she should as ou can imagine there was no sun to kiss us I don't show my gratitude with tears She's tires of running, of gasping, of pulling me up whilst I was no longer on my feet when I needed dragging through agony by my yellow fingers and swollen stomach when the slick sweat of survival made her hands slip, all she could do was pray to Gods she didn't believe in and hold on tighter so now, instead of blinding ecstasy where only I can see the light I use caution Caution is swinging my legs out of bed for school even when the wall next to it stares back at me with fears of lost hopes and broken dreams, caution is wiping off the fake smile and false optimism with my friends and letting them see and love me regardless, caution is the aching weight of walking into that clinic of eyes too kind and children too tired to check whether shitting into a bag attached to my insides was my self induced future Caution is courage. Caution is vulnerability. Caution is not the failures, but the inevitable growth that comes from them. you can't reap from those who sowed you when you cut yourself down again and again and again. You share the crops. You share the growth. Your cuts are never just your own and gratitude for your happiness is not yours to keep.

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