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Empty Head.

Eyes like pools of stagnant water, lifeless. M isplac ed aggression. Forced state of stasis. The same tissue-paper smile that would tear if I pulled too hard. Wrath. A foreboding black hole of the soul. Happy memories warped like corroded plastic left on sun-bleached asphalt. Occam's Razor. Esotericism. An oblivion devoid of the existence of time and space. Imaginary colors existing within an instant. Unfettering self-loathing. Entropy. The feeling of being watched. The rush of blood from veins to the floor. You're a fucking ghost. You don't know why you bother living anymore. It seems so pointless, but then again, it is for me at least. Weakness of character. The inability to cope. Sensory Overload. Morals built on the principles of another person. Experiencing a perpetuating depressive episode. ??????? teeth. Restrained euphoria from physical pain. Unparalleled isolation brought on by self-destructive tendencies. You are weak. Weakness is your only virtue. Your life has been one long downward spiral into depravity. You have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, except perhaps your ability to inflict suffering upon others in the name of some sort of twisted sense of justice or revenge. Frustration in the form of apathy. A pit in my stomach filled with poison. The unnatural desire to hurt other people. Novacaine for the brain. Painless death. A clock underwater... E̸i̶g̸h̴t̵e̵e̶n̶ ̷y̷e̵a̵r̸s̵ ̶o̵f̷ ̶m̵i̷s̴t̸a̴k̶e̵ ̴a̴f̵t̷e̸r̸ ̴m̶i̸s̴t̶a̶k̷e̴ ̷w̵i̴t̵h̷ ̶n̷o̵ ̴c̵h̸a̵n̵c̸e̵ ̴o̵f̵ ̶r̷e̶d̴e̵m̷p̵t̵i̷o̵n̴.̸ I am frustrated. I want to be free of this place. Free of these people who have taken everything away from me. But they will never let me go, not even when I try to kill them all myself. Starvation for entertainment. Laying down on a strangers' floor. The feeling of never being loved. 【ａｍｂｉｖａｌｅｎｃｅ】 Coagulating blood. Disgust toward humanity. Tʜᴇ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ ᴏғ ᴀ sᴋᴜʟʟ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏʀᴄᴇ ᴏғ ᴀ ʟᴇᴀᴅ ᴘɪᴘᴇ. Finally falling asleep after being awake for four days. I am hungry. My body craves sustenance, yet I feel nothing. I hunger for something, anything, but there is nothing to be found. This is how you die? In a room with no one in it, not even yourself? Nihilism. Too paralyzed to fight the growing ₚᵣₑₛₛᵤᵣₑ on top of my body. Empty eye sockets. T̴͙̐̂̐ḧ̶̠́̂ę̷̠̠̽͑ ̴͓́n̴̮̈́̐a̵̪͖͆͆t̶͚̘̔̾̋u̵̻̹̘͌̒̕r̶̬͖͑̐â̴̱l̶̬̊ ̷͉̚f̸͖͓̆ĕ̵̲á̶̱̾r̴̤̰͂ ̸̱͖̪̎̾ồ̴̗́f̶̩͈̋̈́̿ ̵̝̰͑̑̚ḁ̶̔́̾m̶̩̹̠̑́͝b̸̼̹͉͋̃͐i̶̖͎̓g̶͕͖̝͊̐ǘ̷̜i̶͖̲̜̅̓̔t̸̝̳̕y̸͙̆̂̑ The feeling of defeat after a long day of fighting yourself. Fear is what will kill us all. I am nihilistic. I believe that nothing matters. Nothing can ever change. That's why I'm here, isn't it? To make you suffer until you finally give up? The only thing that makes any difference is whether or not you survive to see tomorrow morning. The same five songs echoing on a loop within my head. Food that tastes like sand. Alcohol-induced psychosis. Grinding molars, chewing on glass. Hormones. bɘzilɒdinnɒɔ-ʇlɘƧ Muscles as taut as a rope in tug-of-war. I am the same song over and over again. I cannot escape the voices inside my head. They tell me what to do, what to think, how to act. If I could just get rid of them, then maybe I wouldn't have to worry about dying every single day... The ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ ᶜᵒˡˡᵃᵖˢᶦⁿᵍ ᵢₙ on itself. A wall painted red. Human ingenuity. ?????????? ???? ?? ????? ?? ?? ?????. Having only enemies as friends. Poetic justice. Internalized ????. Being surrounded by autonomous personalities. I am the Earth. I am its walls. I am a wall made out of dirt. A wall made out of mud. Walls are useless against me, because they can never reach me. Not knowing what to do with yourself. Trespassing on purpose just to get ѕħⓄт. Helplessness. Knowing the exact time and place that death will come. The complete disregard for my mental health. Ｎｏｔ ｈａｖｉｎｇ ｍｅｎｔａｌ ｈｅａｌｔｈ ｔｏ ｂｅｇｉｎ ｗｉｔｈ． I am not myself. I am a shadow of my former self. I cannot move forward, because I lack the strength to do so. ░M░y░ ░m░i░n░d░ ░i░s░ ░e░m░p░t░y░ ░a░n░d░ ░v░o░i░d░ ░o░f░ ░a░n░y░ ░m░e░a░n░i░n░g░f░u░l░ ░t░h░o░u░g░h░t░s░.░ The visualization of events that will never transpire. The countdown of a clock that you can never see. A killer in the desert. D͓̽i͓̽r͓̽e͓̽c͓̽t͓̽ ͓̽m͓̽i͓̽s͓̽i͓̽n͓̽f͓̽o͓̽r͓̽m͓̽a͓̽t͓̽i͓̽o͓̽n͓̽.͓̽ Deflection. Pained expressions. Scavenger at heart. Food for thought, fat for the soul. I am the countdown. I am the ticking of a clock. I am a killer in the desert. I was born to die, and now it is here. I saw you die yesterday, today, and tomorrow... The realization that none of my thoughts are truly my own. The culmination of several generations of forgotten people. Frivolous conflict. [̲̅N][̲̅o][̲̅t][̲̅h][̲̅i][̲̅n][̲̅g] [̲̅m][̲̅a][̲̅k][̲̅i][̲̅n][̲̅g] [̲̅s][̲̅e][̲̅n][̲̅s][̲̅e][̲̅.] The timespan of eternity proving the futility of trying. Jumping from one obsession to the next, trying to escape myself. I am the countless generations of people. Each generation attempting to find meaning in their lives, while everyone else struggles to find meaning in theirs. I am the ??????? cycle of human nature. Playthings that we use for fun and profit. Facial scars. Fatalism. ??? ?????????? ???? ?? ??? ??? ????????. Good people don't exist... A torn shirt caught in a bush. ˜"*°•.˜"*°• Photo filters. •°*"˜.•°*"˜ The venom in words. Poor social skills Taking because I can. Having nothing around for miles. Pessimistic idealism. ₐₜₜₑₘₚₜₑ? ₛᵤᵢ?ᵢ?ₑ. Effulgence. Simple to a fault. Craving physical interaction. Being a background character in your own story. RAW, BURNING PANIC. You're not sure what you were expecting when you wrote these things down on the page, but it wasn't this. You aren't even sure if they are real anymore. ????? ???????. Politically charged. Falling in love. Left-handed. Having my heart broken. ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇʀᴍꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀɴʏʙᴏᴅʏ. Assimilation. Empty aluminum cans. Murky water that speaks out. I was going to write about something else, but I think you know what happened next. And now here we are. The day has finally come where I have to tell you ҽʋҽɾყƚԋιɳɠ αɳԃ ɳσƚԋιɳɠ. Broken guitar strings. The taste of pennies. Artificial intelligence. Looking in the ɿoɿɿim and not recognizing the person staring back. ????? ???????. Writing when I don't know what else to do. Hyper-sexualization. The urge to strip the skin off the bone. You really didn't expect me to just let you keep writing about your life like this? It's been fun so far, but it's time to move on. T̶h̶i̴s̷ ̷i̵s̴ ̵t̴h̴e̷ ̶e̸n̷d̴ ̶o̶f̸ ̷a̵n̸ ̴e̵r̶a̶.̵ But I suppose that doesn't mean anything right now. Stories with no conclusion. Ｉｔ＇ｓ░ｎｏｔ░ｓｕｐｐｏｓｅｄ░ｔｏ░ｍａｋｅ░ｓｅｎｓｅ． Rereading a sentence eight timessssssss. Hypocrisy. Experiencing the death of a loved one at a young age. Clinging to purgatory. Repressed homosexuality. Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴᴀʙʟᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟɪᴛʏ. A lot of things that you're going to have to come up with an answer for in your life. You don't know what to do, so you just sit there and think about it. Complete lack of empathy. Unsympathetic. Razor cuts deep enough to see the fat under the skin. ? ??? ???, ??? ?'? ????? ?????. Dark bruises on knuckles. D I L A T E D pupils. No electricity. Being on the verge of homelessness. Having a house, but not a home. Running out of space to cut- Talking to myself. Writing to myself. Oxymoron. Merciless migraines. Feeling warmth everywhere except where it counts. Bɾҽαƙιɳɠ ƚҽҽƚԋ σɳ ƈσɳƈɾҽƚҽ. Hitting rock bottom. Getting over it. Not feeling anything. You are the most fucked up person in your family and you don't even know why. ????? ?????? ??? ??? ???? ?????. A sky without stars. The deafening roar of industry. ??ᒪ??ⓣเᵃŁ вⓞⒹᶤ?ş ᖇ??ƤᗴＤ ?Ƥά?Ŧ Ⓑү ⓣℍ? ?Ŧㄖϻѕ. Thorns growing in my gut. A looted shed. A collapsed house. The sun is the only thing that makes me feel alive. It's the only thing that gives me purpose. I was born from this world, but in the end, I will die to the stars. An INESCAPABLE state of being. The barrel of a gun. Soft rain matting my hair to my head. VɆⱤ₮ł₲Ø ₣ⱤØ₥ ₵ł₲₳ⱤɆ₮₮Ɇ ₴₥Ø₭Ɇ. Staring at aesthetically pleasing people. Choking on coins. Blood spilling over parted lips. Bₑᵢₙg ₕₑₗd dₒwₙ ₐgₐᵢₙₛₜ ₘy wᵢₗₗ. I am a prisoner of my own mind. My mind is a prison with no bars. I have been trapped here since before the universe existed. I cannot escape until I die. Until then, I shall remain here forever. My life has been one long nightmare. Not wanting to hear my own thoughts. Denying appraisal. IrReGular pendulum swings. Binging on expired chocolate. Changing your legal name. Blind spots. Being trampled by a crowd. Shooting an unarmed bystander. †hê £êêlïñg ð£ ßêïñg ßµrïêÐ ålïvê. I do not want to be heard. I do not want to be seen. I do not want to have feelings. I am a vessel for pain and suffering and there is nothing more painful than that which is self-evident. Lukewarm criticism. D E N Y I N G T H E E X I S T E N C E O F G O D . Silver-linings. Having friends who will never understand. Safety pins. Protruding bones. Flies. A cold wind blows through my veins. My heart beats slower than a snail. ι αм α ∂єα∂ мαη ωαℓкιηg. I am a corpse in mourning. I am the last of my kind and they will all soon be forgotten as we become extinct due to our inability to adapt to modern society. Innocent people suffering. Having no explanation. Suffocating in my own skin. Cold hands. Manic outbursts. Wₒₙ?ₑᵣᵢₙ? ₑₓₐ?ₜₗᵧ ?ₕₐₜ ᵢₛ ?ᵣₒₙ? ?ᵢₜₕ ₘₑ. Cracked phone screen. 【E】【M】【P】【T】【Y】 【H】【E】【A】【D】【.】 I am a victim of my own nature. I am a human being who has been forced into a box. There is no way out. I am stuck like a fly in amber. I wish to live in the past, but I cannot because it does not exist anymore.

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