Dear Lisa

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  • Created: November 20, 2015
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Dear Lisa

I remember the last time we went on one of our epic walks.

We crossed the bridge by the old burnt out scout hut, where we used to drink bottles of 20/20 and smoke soap bar.

It's funny how me being on a bridge always made you smile 

"A Bridge on a bridge" you'd laugh

"You couldn't come up with something so preposterous!

I find it quite ridiculous

This might even cause a paradox"

"Unlikely", I said

"I don't think you really understand what a paradox actually is"

"I've got a joke about a Paradox" 

You said with all the 

Glee of a child 

In your eyes

who's about to tell the "what's brown and sticky" joke for the first time

"I know, I've heard it a dozen times before 

"the words kinda fell short

as you continued 

"Where do twin boats sleep?"

"Where?"

"A pair of docks" you said

Yeah, I know

But I've got one for you

"What's both big and small 

At the exact same time???"

Blank expression 

Not even going to try

To reply

"A large egg" 

You're an idiot you said 

And twatted the back of my head 

And ran off kicking the shit out of the flower beds

That we were walking towards

And at that point I couldn't have thought 

That the time we had together was borrowed and not bought

Because the darkness that you kept

Was something that you couldn't hide

You tried to push it back 

But it ripped away at you inside

And then it all just kinda got on top of you, didn't it? 

And I couldn't even begin to blame you

I, more than anyone knew exactly what you went through

All the things that he would do 

When you were in the safety of your own room

Did you know that 

He took his own life only months after you 

Good! 

I'm fucking glad he's dead

I just wish I could have been there when his wrists ejected the red

But more than that

I just wish you were still here

Not even here here

As I doubt we'd even be friends today

But I'd like to tell you all of the things 

That you were right about 

Like, how badly the new star wars movies sucked 

How I did end up happy with life

That I did finally meet the girl of my dreams 

Faith no more did eventually get back together

But then, there's plenty of shit that you was wrong about

And if I had a way of telling you, I'd be all smug and that! 

Like how I still like turtles, racoons and Thundercats

How I still think that Robin 

Is better than the bat

So yeah, I just wanted to write a little something to say hi

I knew you for about 18 months

I've mourned you on and off for 16 years. 

You were a good friend but a fucking liability

I think Dean Learner said it best with "she was like a candle in the wind, unreliable"

 

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