And i walk back to that Second

AND I WALK BACK TO THAT SECOND.. I look at her eyes gleaming red with the arrows of her aching heart. I look into them and witness it all once more. Nothing more than a second it seems, but my mind wanders back over and over. My life which has breezed through millions of seconds, had never once paused to look at it again and again. For if i had, then i would not have reached this time, not if i lived a million years. I go back to that day which has long since passed, and wonder and wonder thinking what might have been. Nothing more than a simple failure has happened to me and already my mind is faraway, in that day. I remember it clearly as if it was yesterday. A flame of happiness was burning deep in me , and my mind was immersed in its warmth and comfort. I had hoped that the day shall never end. It was but a second.One solitary second, that it all changed. My flame was extinguished and suddenly everything seemed dark and dangerous. The day was after all just a dream disguised in the cloaks of a dream. Two hours since i was surrounded by people who talked of it. That was when i was hit by the wave of realization that drowned me. There was no turning back or even a faint trail of a path to go back. Everything had happened and that was that. I looked at the people around outside our group,who were laughing and talking Weren't they aware of the sword dangling above them from the arms of time? Couldn't they see it sway ominously at times? And then i thought back to those last moments. The careless laughs and talks i had done before my flame was extinguished Completely oblivious to the sword closing in on us. Had i known then that it was all but an introduction to a play I had not yet known that I had apart in? Now in these moments when i'm hurt, I think back and wish that i had a chance. A chance one seldom has to escape the cages of life,surrounded by the bars of sorrows and responsibilities and obligations. For then, i shall be free A freedom i had longed for for what seems like years. "I wish i hadn't been so lucky ,for then i shall have died" I murmured to the girl before me staring at me with those indecisive eyes. But then "stop" she said and then told me "You shall not speak in such a way for you are ungrateful. You have been selfish and cruel and nonchalant. You have had many a chance to mend your wounds. You lie and you cheat but I ask to you to what end? Many times i had warned you that your time was soon to be out. You had not heeded my advice You have wanted fame and money and recognition You wanted success and a beautiful life. Now I ask to you, Where all your dreams nothing but dandelions? To have a simple breeze blow away all your fuzz? Then what will you have done if a storm had hit you? Were all your yearnings nothing but a cowards words? You have failed and have been hurt. What that has happened to you is life. Life is but a synonym for sorrows and hardships Only under deep folds of sorrow shall you find a speck of happiness How can you have yearned for a beautiful life when You fear life and wish for death yourself Death is but a slumber repose. It shall certainly give you the calm and peace you wish for but what of the others? There were eyes that sought you at that moment you speak of. Those eyes had filled with relief on seeing you fine. Only you had failed to remove your blindfolds of shock and concern to notice it. You speak of life as if you know everything about it. What you seek for is nothing but a fantasy, until your blind eyes are able to see again. There are many pebbles on the path to your fantasy. You would have to walk on them to reach it. It might tear your skin and make you wince in pain. But you would have to walk on. Sometimes in times like now when you dread going any further, you may trip and fall. But pray do remember, that you would only fall forward. You would still get one step closer to your dreams. So heed my advice silly girl, and get up. The blood oozing from your wounds shall heal. When you reach your fantasy, its floor shall be embedded with petals and you shall be adorned with it. Then you shall sit on thrones of gold and sleep in a bed of roses. Till then you shall walk on ignoring your pain and sorrow. Now brush way those tears and put away that one second into one of the millions of vaults where resides the seconds, you had never once bothered to revisit. Go forward and walk on towards your throne of gold" she said. Nodding i brushed away my tears and left the room and saw my conscience smiling at me nodding her head with contempt. -Nimisha.S.B

2 Replies to “And i walk back to that Second”

  1. Hi Nimisha, very well written. Hope you come out of the shock very soon and that it would remain to be only an event that taught you many new lessons in life and that the accident you went through gives you the strength and courage to believe in yourself and face even tougher exigencies in life ahead.
    May God bless you!

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