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A Grandmother’s Lament

  • Posted by: Gail Hunt
  • Created: December 17, 2018
  • 0
I thought we were going to have so much fun Living close to each other, it has been so long I never wanted to take over your life But I did hope you could convince your wife That I am a good person, a kind person Not one to be rejected or ignored But that didn’t happen and I am so sad In the worst of times, I admit to feeling mad I never understood your lack of involvement That relationship needed help in resolving I feel very left out and have an ache in my chest So many things to be said but no permission to express If I cannot explain myself, how are they to know That I am a whole person and not a dumb show I never yelled but there was no room to explain She was a freight train and I was to blame Other times, too, where the sword didn’t fit That doesn’t seem to matter, I am always the misfit She never spoke to me during all of graduation What was so wrong that I deserved such communication? The fault lay with me but with no understanding And there I sat, feeling more and more stranded Why can’t we talk about the sins of transgression It can’be that hard to find the words of expression I dreamt that I would be a bigger part of your life A Mom and a Grandma bringing joy and not strife But that is not how it turned out to be And my insides feel like a dead sea What to do I ask myself daily? Go away somewhere but what about Brady? And where would I go, I will be just as lonely But this pain is so bad, it is eating me slowly I gave him so much, loved him so deeply Why am I only welcome biweekly? I thought the love came back around When parents got old and were not so sound But I must have erred, must have been mistaken I was not prepared to be thus forsaken My tears and my sorrow only make things worse The reactions I receive are usually adverse The words they must stay stuck in my throat While I try to learn to live like an anecdote gph 12/14/2018

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