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It was at about the age of twenty
When I was pondering the holy trinity
And it all seemed a little ridiculous to me
The thought of one holy entitie
And as the years went on This girl came along
From across the pond
With a belief system
That was all kinds of wrong
She said you know what? for an atheist you're not what I expect
I said funny, for an idiot you're exactly what I expect
You lack common decency At every single step
And anything you don't agree with
You simply won't respect
You told me that all gays are evil
And that Colbert is the devil
That Obama is a Muslim
And that there's one god not several
You came from a rib
Just like every woman did
They teach this shit to little kids
And I find it fucking baffling
Now
I'm not calling you an idiot
Because you've found religion
I just kinda feel sorry for you
Because it clearly wasn't your decision
Your parents had laid the foundation, years of strategic plantation, that homosexuality is the groundwork of Satan
So
Go cry me some holy water
And then come back and regurgitate the nonsense
That your parents taught ya
And don't even begin To listen to my opinion
Your truth may be your truth But it ain't what I'm feeling
Now
If you believe in a higher power, the last Thing I'm going to do is look down on you
I'm happy that you found whatever it is that helps you get through
The day to day strain life truly can be tough
So whatever keeps you sane That's surely enough
Right???
No
It's not enough for you fucking people is it?
You've gotta stamp your feet and make the loudest noise, then people will know that your point is valid
Lie and cover up the molestation of young boys, then have the audacity to rule over who can get married
And
Don't even begin with "it's gods word" Ok? Here's a deal you go find a picture of god I'll go find a picture of batman whoever gets back to this point first wins the argument
And
You have the audacity to look at me like I'm a fucking asshat
Because I find it more likely
That a nightly vigilante
Fights crime as a Bat
Instead of believing in your 6 days of creation and all that
And I could almost hear a pop
As air entered the vacuum
That your body mass occupied only a nanosecond earlier
Before I took the time to remind you
That your religion is a re do, of a religion that's a re do, of a religion that's a re do, of a......
I could repeat myself for hours If you really want me to do
If that's what I need to do to get through I'll fucking scream it until I turn blue
So
I stroke my beard and stare off into the distance
And wonder
If history will even stoop to acknowledge your existence
Or would you fade away no memories would stay
Or on this world would you leave a permanent stain
But I guess what I'm trying to say
At the end of the day
Is Please
Please don't have children