Today is my birthday
Yet I am all alone
I have no plans..I get no say
Meanwhile most years , I’ve sat on a throne
I don’t understand how 2020 went so astray
This year is different though, you see
Awaiting results, a damn tragedy
I just wanted to celebrate me & all my glee
But my phone lights up every so often
Filled w loving text from my friends
Yet I lay in my bed & I dream up a coffin
Bc life.. its an uphill battle.. foggy lens
I see the light at the end of the tunnel
I just have to figure out how to funnel
What matters and what does not
I’m only 26 so understand I’m still learning
Stress is what I know, what I was taught
An abundant life of light , what Im yearning
Forever, Ive held on, Ive fought & Ive fought
But I sit & I google “perks to being dead”
Maybe U didn’t see the breaking, the dread
Be still body & know that I am changing
Curing my mental, complete rearranging.