Looking now back to all my years I realised how lucky I’ve been in my life; I was married to the most amazing woman who gave me a lovely family full of joy. I’m happy because a kind soul decided I shouldn’t be a puppet and cut the strings to leave me fly. I’m 95 years old and I know my end is close. I think it is time to tell my story…
Back in the 60’s I was working as a police officer in a big capital, my prospects weren’t good, my colleagues didn’t fit with myself. I wouldn’t say I hated my job but what it was true is that when I joined the police I thought I would be chasing criminals not doing paperwork the whole day. I was miserable, I didn’t feel I was fulfilling my existence, my dream was to do something important, what has happened with my expectations?!
At home the situation wasn’t better, the arguments with my wife were very common until the day she just left with the kids to live with her sister.
I was in a bottomless pit. I barely spoke to my two sons, I was losing the track of their lives. Drinking was the only way to forget all my problems.
One day I was at home, my head was killing me, probably as a result of a mixture of whisky and the lack of sleep. The doorbell rang several times until I opened it. I saw a tiny old woman, she must have been in her eighties; she entered as if the house were hers. She seemed to be annoyed.
- “Robert, what the hell are you doing?”
- “I beg your pardon?”
- “I created you for doing great thing not for being a stupid, idle man. For Heaven’s sake!”
I swear for my life I had never seen that old lady.
- “Sorry madam, I think there’s a misunderstanding…”
- “No, Robert, there is not! I hoped not to be forced to do this but you obliged me.”
I was just freaking out.
- “Who are you?” She asked
- “Who am I?! Who is the one questioning about my life? WHO are you madam?”
- She sighed. “I’m Liv Noren, I’m a creator, a writer, a guide. Who are you?”
- “I don’t understand anything!” I lit a cigarette with clumsy hands. “Am I a fictional character?!”
- “It’s very simple Robert. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?”
That strange woman could be very scary… I don’t know why I answered her.
- “My name is Robert Martin. I work as a policeman in the District number 19. I have two sons, Michael and Daniel, they’re 7 and 12 years old.”
- “Do you enjoy your life?” her voice was sweet, it seemed as she was no longer angry.
- “What kind of question is that?! Can’t you see me? I’m a failure, I lost my family and of course at work it isn’t better I don’t have any good prospects. I don’t have anything to live for.”
She stared at me with her sparkling grey eyes, despite being an old woman she was gracious in her movements as she was still somehow attractive and elegant.
- “That’s sad, very sad...” her voice sounded like that of a sympathetic mother. “And are you just going to stay here, drinking and crying how unfortunate you are, right? Because that’s easier, be sitting here with a bottle of whisky and not fighting for the things you want to get.”
What can I say, she was completely right!
- She smiled and gave me a book. “I’m sorry I can’t do any more for you, read that story and decide what to do with your future.”
I was dumbfounded. She left the house making a last comment. “Don’t forget tomorrow it’s Mike’s birthday, you’d better buy him the bike; he’ll like it”. She was true, tomorrow was 9th February. How could she know that?
I started reading the book. To my amazement my entire life was there! My childhood, school years, teenage era, my beloved wife, my children… It was the story of my life! Even the conversation with that enigmatic woman was written down on those pages. I couldn’t believe my eyes, it was too much information; I needed to take a break.
I woke up in the morning full of energy, hoping everything regarding the mysterious lady and the book were just a nightmare. But the book was still there, on the small lame table in my dark dining room. I flipped through it again and I realised there were some blank pages at the end and a note:
‘You’ll have to find the way to finish your path’
What if she was right? What if we all have a destiny to meet? But what if we have in our hands to change the fate? I wrote the last pages of the book. I wasn’t a puppet anymore, I was the owner of my life!
I went to recover my family. I changed as a person, that writer changed me into a human. I looked for her everywhere, but she had gone. She accomplished her mission, Liv had saved me.
Appreciation of my father first man I’ve unconditionally loved
Instead of butterflies, it's this short burst of false hope in your gut.
One woman's strange love affair with a pair of pigs feet. (Originally a blog post)