Bridge818 Live Spoken Word London November 11th 2015

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• Created: November 20, 2015
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Go Rapture Yourself

It was at about the age of twenty 
When I was pondering the holy trinity 
and it all seemed a little ridiculous to me
the thought of one holy entity 
And as the years went on 
This girl came along 
From across the pond
With a belief system 
That was all kinds of wrong 
She said 
you know what?
for an atheist you're not 
What I expect 
I said
funny, for an idiot 
You're exactly what I expect
You lack common decency 
At every single step
And anything you don't agree with
You simply won't respect
You told me that 
All gays are evil 
And Colbert is the devil
Obama is a Muslim
There's one god not several 
You came from a rib 
Just like every woman did 
They teach this to little kids
And I find it baffling 
And I'm not calling you an idiot 
because you've found religion 
I just kinda feel sorry for you  
because it wasn't your decision 
your parents had laid the foundation 
years of strategic plantation 
that homosexuality 
is the groundwork of Satan 
So go cry me some holy water 
And then come back and regurgitate the nonsense
That your parents taught ya 
And please don't even begin 
To listen to my opinion
Your truth may be your truth
But it ain't what I'm feeling 
Now
If you believe in a higher power, the last 
Thing I'm going to do is look down on you
I'm happy that you found whatever it is that helps you get through 
The day to day strain 
where life can truly be tough 
So whatever keeps you sane
That's surely enough 
Right???
No. It's not enough for you people is it?
You've gotta stamp your feet and make the loudest noise
Then people will know that your point is valid
Lie and cover up the molestation of young boys
Then have the audacity to rule over who can get married 
And don't even start with "it's gods word" 
Ok?
Here's a deal 
you go find a picture of god
I'll go find a picture of batman 
whoever gets back to this point first 
wins the argument 
And you have the audacity to look at me 
Like I'm a fucking asshat 
Because I find it more likely
That a nightly vigilante 
Fights crime as a Bat 
Is more plausible than your 
6 days of creation 
and all that 
And I could almost hear a pop 
as air entered the vacuum 
that your body mass occupied 
only a nanosecond earlier 
before I took the time to remind you 
That your religion is a re do 
Of a religion that's a re do 
Of a religion that's a re do
Of a religion that's a re do
Of a .....
I could repeat myself for hours 
If you really want me to 
If that's what I need to do
to get through
I'll scream it until I turn blue 
So 
I stroke my beard and stare off into the distance
and wonder if history will even stoop to acknowledge your existence 
Or would you fade away 
no memories would stay 
or on this world would you
leave a permanent stain 
But at the end of the day
All I'm really trying to say 
Is 
Please 
Please don't have children

Say goodbye to these!

We've got this cat named kitty
And she doesn't care too much for me
Even though I talk to her in Dothraki
And do the things you do 
To try and keep a cat healthy
I give her eats
And I buy her treats
And don't go mad when she shits
All over my sheets
And when she tries to kill me
by tripping up my feets
I'm still like
Awwwwww you so sweet
And she looks at me like
Who the fuck are you 
Don't you fucking look at me
Now where the fuck is my food
Go to the fridge
Get the pouch
Then deliver food to mouth
And then fuck you I'm out
Imma go and hunt this mouse
And she kinda looks like toothless From how to train your dragon
Sad eyes
That hide
In a little ball of fluff
But she'll rip the shit out of your posters
If you don't give her any attention
Then just like P.O.S
She'll be like fuck your stuff
But I love the shit out of that little kitty 
Even though she prefers my housemates to me
And although she'll never invite me
to one of her cat parties
At the end of the day
At least she's not a dog

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