Tears dry on blank pages
My final thoughts to you
Empty, except for the immortilization of my sorrow pressed into the textured pages
"Fitting," I think. Representative of all the promises left unfulfilled
Or perhaps it demonstrates the vastness of knowledge unknown, of words left unsaid, of dreams yet to be dreamt
The old me yearned to fill these pages with ink
We would become the cosmos' greatest authors, carefully tracing our story in each experience we created, or writing it in the topography of each other's faces as gentle hands brush over a wet cheek
The old me would see the stained blank pages of this neglected note as a monument to the loss of something beautiful
Veterans weep at the tributes erected in honor of their ascended brothern. I weep at the sight of these pages emptiness, for all is not fair in love and war
Autumn arrives before I can conjure the will to write these notes
And I am reminded that Autumn is much more than the harbinger of cold winter nights, evenings by the fireside, and the cold sting of your absence
It is an invigorating reminder of life's cycle: Growth, change, death, and rebirth
The tree is unlike any other being. They experience this cycle dozens of times over, yet their roots remain as strong as the day they were conceived
I put my hands to the worn bark, feel the rough texture against my palms, and ponder how many people had confided beneath it's branching leaves before me
It is the season of change
And the colors begin to shift
The old me would detest my inability to put my thoughts on paper
The new me prefers it this way
These tear soaked pages are no longer a constant reminder of shortcomings and errors
It is an opportunity
To scribble over each wet dot
Each and every reminder of nights spent in cold surrender
They will be covered with new stories, new loves, new tragedies
Although, regret lurks below the shallow surface of the pens marks
I look back to this solitary tree
And ask myself what secrets it hides behind it's sheltering bark
What have these beautiful disasters done to distort the rings lurking behind it's surface
On this consecrated, ground I spin whimsical tales of what this gentle giant may have gone through
All the while, knowing that this mystery may never be unraveled
And that is okay