I very rarely have a drink
A small one, that’s my lot
A red wine maybe
Over dinner or tea
Or perhaps a cold beer if it’s hot.
I find alcohol well over-rated
So I hardly, these days, touch a drop
And though sometimes I might
Have the odd one at night
I make certain I know when to stop.
A cognac perhaps before bedtime
Brings a civilised end to the day
Just a few golden sips
On their way past my lips
Keep the demons of darkness at bay.
And of course when I’m out socialising
And a little Dutch courage is due
Then it’s vodka or gin
With a tonic splashed in
But not too many mind, just a few.
A glass of Bucks Fizz in the morning
Sets me up for the rest of the day
When the buzz from champagne
As it kick-starts the brain
Blows the overnight cobwebs away.
A bacardi and coke on occasion
Is a welcome diversion I feel
To the stresses and strife
Of a hard-working life
Which has long ago lost its appeal.
But hey, what do I know about drinking?
It’s not something of which I’m accused
It’s a subject I’m sure
Of which others know more
But which leaves me just feeling confused.
Oh well if you insist, yes I’d love one
A scotch on the rocks would be nice
And to save any trouble
Just make it a double
And easy, my dear, on the ice!