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Scotch on the Rocks

I very rarely have a drink A small one, that’s my lot A red wine maybe Over dinner or tea Or perhaps a cold beer if it’s hot.   I find alcohol well over-rated So I hardly, these days, touch a drop And though sometimes I might Have the odd one at night I make certain I know when to stop.   A cognac perhaps before bedtime Brings a civilised end to the day Just a few golden sips On their way past my lips Keep the demons of darkness at bay.   And of course when I’m out socialising And a little Dutch courage is due Then it’s vodka or gin With a tonic splashed in But not too many mind, just a few.   A glass of Bucks Fizz in the morning Sets me up for the rest of the day When the buzz from champagne As it kick-starts the brain Blows the overnight cobwebs away.   A bacardi and coke on occasion Is a welcome diversion I feel To the stresses and strife Of a hard-working life Which has long ago lost its appeal.   But hey, what do I know about drinking? It’s not something of which I’m accused It’s a subject I’m sure Of which others know more But which leaves me just feeling confused.   Oh well if you insist, yes I’d love one A scotch on the rocks would be nice And to save any trouble Just make it a double And easy, my dear, on the ice!

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